Today I have another ATC for you. I started it yesterday and didn't like it. I was trying to decide what to do with it, when I thought it may be nice to work on it more and see if I can get it to a better place. Wether I did or not is up for discussion. Honestly I'm still not very happy with it. I think I'm just not very happy with myself atm and it's filtering down to the work. There are so many layers of ink on this card that there is a bit of depth you miss in the photograph.
So yesterday was rough but ended well. After waking up early and dying my hair, I started off the day with the realization that someone who I think should support my art dosen't or at least doesn't think I can make a living from it. The reality is I don't have a lot of choice. I think God planned that so I wouldn't be able to avoid what He created me to do. It hurts to hear though. I tried not to let it get me down and got the art created early enough to get dressed up for the Valentines get together at For Artsake Gallery.
I had my hair and makeup finished and went to pick up the mail before putting on my dress and finishing touches. In the mail was a mix of things. There were two letters that were most definitely Atc's from listia and a third bubble mailer from one of my kickstarter supporters full of fabulous wonders. Lastly there was a letter from Social Security. I was nervous to get bad news but hopeful so I opened the SS letter first. Unfortunately the letter stated that they could not prove I "suffered" from my conditions prior to 2009 when my window for disability closed. There is plenty of documentation to prove I have the conditions just not enough doctors visits to show real suffering. Thankfully the atc's were there to help me get through the roughest part. At that point I really didn't want to go anywhere, but I was already 80% ready, so I finished up and pasted on my best smile. When I was a kid working as a bagger at Safeway I learned a fake smile eventually turns into a real one.
I went to the party and had about three glasses of champaign. I was feeling much better, but a little too good for driving so I went for a walk around the block. It was nice. When I got back we saw a woman across the street dressed in red with wings and lots of hearts. They encouraged her to drop in for a bit. She proceeded to give us all love in heart sticker format. I got some pictures for you. You can see by the time she arrived I was doing much better.
At first I was going to re-apply just listing my migraines, since I believe it to be the most provable of my conditions. I tried this morning but they wouldn't let me. I had to do it as an appeal to the previous case. We shall see what comes of that. I believe if it doesn't work out this time around it may be time to talk to a local disability lawyer. I was really hoping to get a little more every month so I could get back into the gallery and have a few days of daycare to work on my larger commission pieces. For now, that doesn't look very promising. I did get Kaleb's application in for head start a few days ago. Should he be selected this fall there may be a chance I can use the few hours a day he is gone in a similar fashion to what I would have done had I been able to afford the day care. There are a few gals at the gallery that said they would be willing to work with me on hours should that event occur. There is still a shred of hope. It's just getting a bit dimmer every day.
Thank you Melissa for your ATC care package. It was so very encouraging at the moment when I needed it the most. I am honored to be the recipient of your first ever ATC. I absolutely love everything you sent!
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